What makes a beer garden a beer garden? Well after stating the obvious (beer and a garden, duh), the best ones have friendly patrons, attentive and knowledgeable staff, and a fun environment to get tipsy in the summer sun. But in your boozey haze, you may have run into a few bogus beer gardens that have proven more buzz killing than buzz worthy. Don’t fret! Shecky’s made you a handy guide of the best and worst beer gardens in the city so you don’t have to make the same mistakes we did (you’re welcome). With our help, you’ll be swapping bro-ey brew hangs like The Standard with diamonds in the rough like the aptly named The Diamond in no time. Cheers!

-Jinee Son

10. The Standard Beer Garden New York City is known for its eclectic mix of restaurants and bars so why settle for anything that’sstandard? We’ll give this beer garden a thumbs up for their location (beneath the High Line), where views make up for the fratty bros that horde the ping pong tables in an obnoxious frenzy. When you thought beer gardens were reserved for douchey hipsters, along comes The Standard to present an atmosphere cluttered with accoutrements worse than non-prescription, thick rimmed glasses: fitted hats and faux hawks. If you don’t mind the crowd of wannabe Jersey Shore aspirers, pick and choose from the drabbest selection of beer in the city. The Standard’s standards of a quality beer garden is below average, only offering a selection of 3 beers on tap. But what do you expect when the demographic of douches and douchettes crave their usual Raspberry Smirnoff? It brings them back to college days…which is where most of them still are. The Standard Beer Garden, 848 Washington St. @ Little W. 12th St. (Meatpacking District) 212.645.4646

9. Hallo Berlin You’d expect a German native to open an authentic German biergarten where the nostalgia of sausage and beer reminds him of home. That’s exactly what Rolf Babiel did when he opened Hallo Berlin, even bringing a piece of the Berlin Wall to stick in the biergarten outside. Though Babiel carries his ancestors’ legacy with 8 different wursts and 20 different German beers, his joint falls hard on our list for one huge reason—his staff. If you’ve never eaten at a German resto, save the trip to Hallo Berlin until you’re well-acquainted with the traditional German meal because the wait staff is useless…seriously, this place may as well be a self-serve cafeteria because waiting for waiters to bring you a fork is the least of your worries. Our advice? Skip dinner and head straight to the bar. Sipping beers like Doppelbock Korbinian Wheinstephen (17oz. for $10) in the garden won’t disappoint, unlike the staff. Hallo Berlin, 626 10th Ave. @ 44th St. (Hell’s Kitchen) 212.977.1944

8. Der Schwarze Kölner Expect to sweat when you grab a beer at Der Schwarze Kölner. This biergarten has no a/c and when you think you’ll catch a breeze, the dismal space they claim as a garden is really just a few tables plopped outside. Sure, it’s communal as every true biergarten should be, but imagine sweating, going outside, and being clumped in the middle of other people just as sweaty as you…tasty! If you want an actual biergarten experience, do yourself a favor and save time and MetroCard swipes. Der Schwarze Kölner does have a wonderfully stocked beer selection but without the actual garden, you can head to another joint that boasts even better beer with the bonus of an outdoor space that’ll fit more than a party of 5 comfortably. Der Schwarze Kölner, 710 Fulton St. @ S. Oxford St. (Fort Green) 347.841.4495

7. Loreley Fans of Loreley will stick by this joint until it burns to the ground…and that’s the problem—if this biergarten went up in flames, you would too. The amount of people they allow on the outdoor patio is enough to form its own little civilization. We aren’t dissing the food or beer—actually, everything on the menu exceeds expectations—but shouting over packs of drunken Lower East Siders to talk to your friend who’s standing right next to you makes this popular biergarten fall at least 3 spots on our list. If you want some good grub like Würstchen mit Kartoffelsalat (Two wieners with potato salad $7) and tasty beer like Augustiner Edelstoff (Superior "Helles" lager beer from Munich $6), then get there early and leave there earlier to avoid the crowd. Loreley, 7 Rivington St. Bt. Bowery & Chrystie St. (Lower East Side) 212.253.7077

6. Mission Dolores Dog parks get trumped by this once auto shop turned dog-friendly beer garden. Put your canine buddy on a leash and grab a drink with some friends at Mission Dolores. With a beer menu that changes frequently and decent prices ($4-$9 a pop), the only thing you’ll need to watch out for are the hipster patrons who’ll talk about their accomplishments (or lack thereof) in the independent film industry. Just avoid eye contact and pretend you’re really interested in the color of your stout…trust us, it’ll be more rousing than the conversations of superficial testimonies from hipster escapades past. Mission Dolores, 249 4th Ave. Bt. President & Carroll Sts. (Park Slope) 718.399.0099

5. Spritzenhaus The airy space of Spritzenhaus isn’t quite the traditional biergarten but the joint is huge! Walk past the roaring fireplace on a cooler night and then persue the beer menu, which will take you a while because their selection is ridiculously, and awesomely, extensive. Try the German-style Stiegl Pilsner ($6) or the Green Flash West Coast IPA ($7) to take your taste buds on a fun journey to Deutschland. Pair those cold ones with a fresh homemade German Pizza (tarentaise, potato, sausage, chive $12) and you’ve got yourself a treat! The communal tables are spacious and abundant so bring all your friends to drink, eat, and play some board games—seriously, Spritzenhaus has Jenga. Spritzenhaus, 33 Nassau Ave. Bt. Berry St & N. 14th Sts. (Greenpoint) 347.987.4632

4. Spuyten Duyvil Just when you thought Billyburg was a PBR-only zone, along comes Spuyten Duyvil with their variety of microbrews to satisfy any brewconnoisseur. But beer isn’t this garten’s only specialty—take your pick of meads and wines of all kinds to go along with some tasty cheese plates. The outdoor area has smaller communal tables and chairs than normal beer gardens, but the patio makes for a great place for date night. The ivy-covered brick walls and intimate setting is a good stop for you and your significant other. Orange wine? Belgian beers? Yummy meals? Beautiful garden? What more can you ask for on a romantic summer night? Spuyten Duyvil, 359 Metropolitan Ave. @ Havemeyer St. (Williamsburg) 718.963.4140

3. Radegast Hall & Biergarten When you want to experience an authentic German beer garden, Radegast is the place to go. The drink and food menu is loaded with all things from the land of bratwurst and Das Boot. The beer hall itself is spacious yet cozy, but when the weekend rolls around, be sure to get there somewhat early to grab a table! This place is hopping with all kinds of people—not just hipsters—so mingling and making new friends is easy. Get to know some strangers while sipping on the ever popular Weihenstephaner Dunkel Weiss ($7) while sharing a Murray’s Cheese Plate ($15). If you’re not in a Dunkel Weiss kind of mood, no fear, sift through the obscene selection of not-just-German beers. Radegast imports from other countries like Austria, France and Belgium, so if your taste buds crave something sweet, sour, or bitter, Radegast has you covered. Radegast Hall & Biergarten, 113 N. 3rd St. @ Berry St. (Williamsburg) 718.963.3973

2. 4th Avenue Pub The sight of hip moms and their hip strollers carrying their even hipper kids is what’s expected of Park Slope. But walk in 4th Avenue Pub and find those foxy mamas sans children, frosty brew in hand. Serving more than 20 beers on tap, this bar makes you want to try everything from an Allagash Curieux ($25 for 25 oz. bottle) to a Delirium Tremens ($8) to a Gaffel Kolsch ($6). The outdoor patio isn’t so much of a biergarten than a regular garden. The tables are more intimate, but the stone walls keep it contemporary, while indoors you’ll find comfy couches and a divey atmosphere. Whether you’re in the mood to enjoy some summer sun or relax inside, we grant 4th Avenue Pub second place on our list for its beer selection, friendly service, and beautiful outdoor garden. 4th Avenue Pub, 76 Fourth Ave. Bt. St. Marks Pl. & Bergen St. (Park Slope) 718.643.2273

1. The Diamond This beer garden is truly a diamond in the rough, so much so we couldn’t resist the cheesy pun. We decided the number 1 beer garden should encompass a fantastic beer menu along with the best atmosphere to drink it in. The Diamond’s Prize Old Ale vintage ’04 is a 9% dried apple and fig-flavored Brit brew that's strong but not heavy ($13), while fellow 9%-er, the De Dolle Oerbier Belgian is perfect for when your sweet tooth starts craving. The inside of this bar is cut like a very smooth diamond as the bar is curved, with light wood that looks chic against the walls patrons lean against while munching on the free self-serve popcorn. Take a trip outside where the two-floor patio makes for a definite party zone, complete with shuffleboard. With knowledgeable bartenders, free popcorn, amazing beer selection, fabulous outdoor area and friendly patrons, The Diamond will stay number one on our list for a while. After all, diamonds do last forever. The Diamond, 43 Franklin St. @ Calyer St. (Greenpoint) 718.383.5030

Most Anticipated: The Well Joshua Richholt, former manager of The Knitting Factory and Jazz Standard, is planning something that’ll knock your beer- and music-loving socks off. The Wick will be opened for music lovers everywhere as a giant music venue. But what’s more anticipated? The 15,000 square feet of beer hall-age plus an additional 11,000 square feet of outdoor space including its very own farmer’s market to create the ultimate beer garden simply named The Well. The epic plans for 260 Meserole is predicted to make Bushwick a regular hot spot for those wanting live music, a choice of over 300 beers, and unique ambiance. The Well will also provide home-brewing classes for those who want to learn about all things hoppy and bubbly. The great mix of The Wick and The Well is something we’re putting on our "we can't wait!" list. The Well, 260 Meserole St. Bt. Bushwick Ave. & Waterbury St. (Bushwick)