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Restaurant Thalia:
Named for the Greek muse who presided over comedy, this Times Square resto is fittingly beholden to the whims of tourists, the “theater crowd” and...uh...old people. Somewhat gauche and garish, Thalia has a high-ceilinged dining room with orange splashed everywhere—from walls, to tables, to the overstuffed sofas where gramps might sit down and never be able to get back on his feet. The menu has a heavy focus on seafood and pasta with numerous local oysters ($2.25-$2.50 per, though only a buck at the bar from 7-10pm) and carb-heavy classics (spaghetti, $16; gnocchi, $22). Drinks are the kind you’d expect grandma to get before seeing Mary Poppins, including numerous champagne-based cocktails ($11-13) with a respectable-but-over-priced wine list ($9-$12). Thalia is not the place for anyone who considers 4pm just a little too early for dinner, but if your grandparents are in town for a matinee and want to treat you to some grub, you could do worse.