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The Penrose: Pigs are flying, hell hath frozen over and Snooki’s the smartest person on Earth—all that must be true, because how else could you explain the Upper East Side’s sudden cool cred? The Penrose is to blame, the new wood-and-brick gastropub from the crew behind downtown hot-spots Wilfie & Nell, The Wren and Bua. In a nabe where hip culinary offerings are few and far between, mastermind Ruairi Curtin brings a simple and simply delicious 14 item menu courtesy of chef David Mawhinney, with Irish-inflected eats like battered sausages with vinegar mayo ($5), beer-battered McClure’s pickles ($5), Irish cheddar mac & cheese ($10) and a 40-day cured spiced beef sandwich ($12). The bar boasts a grandpa’s library sort of old school cool, with old-timey trinkets like vintage typewriters, homey hung portraits and retro overhead lights. Heavily brogued bartenders ply craft beers and cocktails that are equally welcoming, with brew options like Murphy’s Stout ($6) and a Sixpoint Irish Red Amber that’s being made exclusively for Curtin’s restaurants, and tasty ‘tipples shaken up with Irish whiskey (e.g. “Saint Anne’s Remedy," $10) and homemade spiked sodas (trend anyone?) like the gin-infused “Earl Grey Lemonade” ($9). Congrats Penrose, you did the impossible—you pushed the UES one step closer to cool. Now if you could cure cancer and erase calories from carbohydrates too, that’d be great.